Overwhelmed? Defining your core values will help
When was the last time you felt happy? Or do you go about your day with a painted-on smile, telling everyone you’re fine but, deep down, that couldn’t be further from the truth?
You’d be amazed how many women just like you are also struggling. Feeling lost, helpless and stuck, it seems like there’s no way out. This. Is. It.
Over and over, I see women focusing on the bad. There’s no meaning to life, there’s no purpose to life, everything has faded to dull and grey.
But you deserve happiness, fulfilment, joy and inner peace and, with my help, you can start the process of living again right now.
If you’re unfulfilled or unhappy, choose to spend a few minutes now to help you identify your values, hone a core values list, and act mindfully to live one of your values this week.
Core values are so important to your future happiness
Values are your core, fundamental beliefs; the things most important to you.
Living your values, honouring your values and being aware of your values lead to you having a happy, peaceful meaningful life.
So, right now, click here and print off your values clarification list. Feel free to add to this list – it’s not exhaustive. This is the first step in discovering and then living your most important values.
My personal values
Before you start thinking about your values, this story will illustrate how they impact on you.
First, there are two things you should know about me. Number one: one of my key values is “choice”. Number two: I hate being stuck in traffic.
Stuck in traffic, boxed in by other cars and unable to move, my value of “choice” is being trampled on. Having this value attacked makes me feel angry. Having your values attacked may make you feel sad, anxious or tearful.
When your values are compromised by external factors, your inner self is suffocated, and that naturally expresses itself in negative emotions. Supressed values lead to anger, frustration and upset.
Identifying your values, and making the link between them and situations that leave you feeling negative is one of the most important steps you can take towards positivity.
Right now, have a think about five things that make you angry, upset or frustrated. Write them down. Then look at the values list and think about the values that are being dishonoured or supressed to make you feel these feelings. Write down the values that you identify. This is the start of your personal values list.
Add invisible values to your values list
Did you know that you also have values that are invisible? With invisible values, you honour them naturally. It’s not usually obvious but as you become more aware of how you’re living your life, you’ll start to be more sensitive about this. For me, I love having beautiful personal items around me, as I have a strong beauty and aesthetics value. I live it and I honour it.
What are your invisible values?
- What do you like your home to look like?
- How do you like to dress?
- What do you like doing?
- Who do you like seeing?
- What do you value about your friendships?
- What do you love about your career?
Can you start to identify more values from my value clarification list, based on your answers to the above questions? Once you’ve identified them, write them down on to your list.
When you know your values you can start making decisions based on them. This is really powerful. Here’s another exercise to help you uncover some more.
Uncovering your personal values from a position of peace
Close your eyes and spend a few minutes thinking about a time in your life when you felt good, at peace and fulfilled. A time when everything felt right; all was well. When you have that, notice:
- Where you are?
- Who is with you?
- What time of day is it?
- What’s the atmosphere, sights, sounds, smells of where you are?
- What are you doing?
- What are those around you doing?
If you can’t think of something immediately, relax; take a few deep breaths and think again.
Open your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Take some time answering the questions above.
Use the values clarification list to see which of your values were being honoured at this time of peace. Add those values to your list.
Your core values list
Look at the list of values you’ve just created. Then, please make it in to a top 10; scoring each value out of 10 as for how you are honouring it right now.
Of course, awareness is just the first step in this process, and action is key to changing anything. So, choose one of the values that you’re not honouring properly and make a commitment to writing down one thing you’re going to do this week to honour that value. And that’s your change in 5 minutes; the time it took you to read this.
Once you’ve listened, and for more tips on how to get out of that rut, sign up to my newsletter, discover how I can help you change your life or book in for a free, 90-minute consultation. Your life can and will get better. You can change your life in 5.
You are a work in progress. We all are.read more
I believe we all have a life purpose and it’s not knowing this that’s the biggest reason for feeling ‘empty’ inside…read more
Especially when they’re really important but you just keep putting them offread more
Instant Anxiety Relief – my ABC toolread more
My first ‘AMA’ video as part of my 10 Year Anniversary celebrationsread more
How to stop beating yourself up. Self Compassion.read more
What’s your emotional addiction? How to stop anger fear or sadness running your life.read more
How to stop procrastinatingread more
How to feel happy INSTANTLY. The Neuroscience of Gratitude.read more
How to say NO (and feel good about it)read more